Hu Flung Pu

I'm a Juror

2007-03-07T05:02:00.000-08:00

well, I had jury duty and the stupid lawyers thought that I'd make a good juror for a civil trial case involving an automobile accident. So, now I get to get outof work for about 2-4 days, sit in court, listen to these clowns talk about who did what and whose fault it is, and then i get to help decide who wins and whether or not they recive any money.........at first i was annoyed about this, but now that i think abotu it, I think it'll be kind of interesting to see the whole process work
I'll keep you updated

Life is good........very very good

2007-02-28T18:34:00.000-08:00

I've taught.....

2007-02-12T06:34:00.000-08:00

Bella how to fart on command................I've never been more proud

I'm really afraid...

2007-01-31T11:58:00.000-08:00

that we are headed towards world war 3, and I think it's too late to reverse the powers that be.....

The definition of LOVE

2007-01-22T05:33:00.000-08:00

Thanks, honey

Wife induces labor so husband can go to Bears game

Posted: Sunday January 21, 2007 4:01PM; Updated: Sunday January 21, 2007 4:01PM

PALOS HEIGHTS, Ill. (AP) -- Nine months pregnant and married to a fervent Bears fan with tickets to Sunday's NFC Championship game, Colleen Pavelka didn't want to risk going into labor during the game against the New Orleans Saints.
Due to give birth on Monday, Pavelka's doctor told her Friday she could induce labor early. She opted for the Friday delivery.
"I thought, how could [Mark] miss this one opportunity that he might never have again in his life?" said Pavelka, 28, from the southwestern Chicago suburb of Homer Glen.
At 10:45 p.m. Friday, Mark Patrick Pavelka was born at Palos Community Hospital after close to six hours of labor.
While her husband watched the Bears play the New Orleans Saints at Soldier Field Sunday, Colleen planned to watch in the hospital with the baby wrapped in a Bears blanket -- a Christmas gift from his grandmother.
The couple named Mark after his father, who wore a "Monsters of the Midway" shirt during the delivery.
"If he wasn't born by Sunday and the Bears won, I would have named him Rex," after Bears quarterback Rex Grossman, joked Mark Pavelka, 28.
Mark is the couple's second son.
Copyright 2007 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Go Giants!!

2006-10-30T18:37:00.000-08:00

Here's Bella rooting for the Giants this past weekend. She's doing really well lately. Walking all over, developing her own little personality, it's a lot of fun bein her daddy.

So, let me know what you think...I was at Mercy hopsital in Rockville Center tonight and I stopped by the gift shop, which happens to be run by nuns. I bought an 80 cent candy bar for dinner, and gave the nun a $20. She give me 2 dimes, 4 singles, a $5 dollar bill and a $10 dollar bill. Nice, combined with my 80 cent candy bar, that's $20. So, I go on my merry way, and in the hospital elevator, I notice that the $5 bill she gave me was in fact a $50 bill..........so, guess what I did??????????

I fucking Kept it.
luv,
Mr. Pu

I'M about to get on the plane back to NY...

2006-10-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

if anyone is thinking of getting me a welcome back gift from my Germany trip, a gift certificate to the Betty Ford clinic would do me right just about now.....
luv,
Mr. Pu

The Germany Trip......

2006-10-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow night, I embark on a unique adventure with my brother, my father, and 17 of their firehouse buddies to Walldorf Germany. Once a year the guys from my Dad's firehouse go to their German "sister" firehouse to visit, and once a year some German firefighters come to visit us here. It's a pretty cool thing they've got going. Anyway, my father has never gone, and he said if me and Chris go, he'd go this year...........soooooooo we're off.......Mrs. Pu is officialy the front runner for wife of the year for letting me get away with this little trip. But anyway, here's our itinerary;

11/12th - Fly to Frankfurt, travel south about an hour to Walldorf and meet our hosts

13 - 14th - Participate in the Walldorf Kerwe festival. This little rural town has an annual fair and the visitors from the good ol' USA will be setting up a booth and selling Budweiser beer and Manhatten clam chowder. All proceeds will go to the Walldorf fire department. Should be fun.

15 - 16th - Travel to Obervietach, on the Chekoslovakian border, and hang with some more firehouse fellas from this town. We'll be spending the night here. My brother wants to hitch a train ride into Prague, Chekoslovakia.....he says "It's fucking ridiculous there." I'm not sure what he means exactly, especially since he's never been there or anywhere in europe for that matter, but I'm down for anything on this trip

17th - Head back into Germany and spend the day in Hiedelberg, an extremely historic city. Basic sightseeing, and numerous trips to the beer halls I presume

18th - We'll be exploring the castles and cathedrals of Speyer, and more beer halls

19th - This day we're traveling West towards France, and the Pfalz region of Germany for wine tasting. This should be a really cool day because I enjoy wine a lot and we should be able to see a lot of the country side

20 - 21st - Hang out in Wallldorf for the last two days, or travel around, basically do whatever we want. But our last night there, the mayor of Walldorf will be hosting us for a big party in honor of us. Supposedly it's a huge event with hundreds of people. Oh yeah, more beer halls thes last two days as well.

22nd - Fly back to JFK

So, that's it folks....this trip should be one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I'm really excited to be spending it with my Dad and brother. I can't wait to get there, but I'll definitely miss Mrs. Pu and Bella very much. My phone cards are already purchased and ready to go.

Well, goodnight all, wish me luck, talk to you soon,

luv,
Mr. Pu

2006-09-27T20:08:00.000-07:00

It's autumn, I love this season. Sweatshirts, jeans, raking up the leaves, watching football, not sweating when I walk out the door. My favorite season of the year. Things are well over here. Bella's walking. My fantasy football team is 3 and 0, and I'm looking to have an undefeated season. My other team is only 1 and 1, but I'll win that league too. My Germany trip is Oct 11th. Me, my "little" brother, and my Dad, romping around europe. Can't wait..

Well, live happy and be merry folks,

Mr. Pu

Recent picture of Bella....

2006-09-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's the next few days....

Friday -
go to work

Friday night -
Hang out with wife and kid, and make my way to my parents and my sisters house so they can sign the contract for the condo in myrtle beach south carolina that we're all purchasing together. Sleep at my parents

Saturday -
4:30am - Get up with my Dad, and brother-in-law and get to LaGuardia aiprport to board a 6:30am flight to myrtle beach

noon - meet with the real estate agent, see the condo and hand over the remaining deposit
4pm - Tee off for a nice round of golf, then dinner, then the bar, and eventually the bed

Sunday -
8am - catch a flight back to NY
noon - watch my daughter while my wife goes to a baby shower
4pm - meet up with my brother Chris and make our way to Giants stadium in NJ to tailgate for the Giants/Colts football game (drink lots and lots of beer and make steaks on a BBQ)
8:30 - watch the game
2am - make my way home, eventually fall asleep

Monday -
6am - wake up and start the work week
8:30am - 5pm Rest my eyes in my shitty cubicle at my shitty job

Love
Mr. Pu

We're having Bella's

2006-09-01T07:31:00.000-07:00

first year birthday party this weekend. The plan was for it to be a pool party with all her little friends running around and going in my parents pool. Unfortunately it looks like Mr. Ernesto and his wind and rain will be putting a slight damper on our festivities this Sunday. Hopefully the weather's not too bad though. Aside from that we don't really have much else planned for the weekend. We did have our annual fantasy football draft this past week with the work crew. That was fun, especially since I'm the champ of the league three years running, so it was only fitting that I named my team "THE KING" for this fourth year.
Hope everyone has a great labor day weekend.
Mr. Pu

MLL Final Four is this weekend

2006-08-23T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. The Major League Lacrosse final four is this weekend. My brother (number 21) and his fellow boston cannon teammates will be taking on the Philadelphia Barrage this Friday night out in Los Angeles, at 11pm eastern time. Lucky for all you lax fans, the game is being webcast over the internet.

http://www.majorleaguelacrosse.com/news/?id=5378

So, if Chris and his teammates win, they'll be playing Sunday afternoon on ESPN2....Live. Wish him luck

My Triathlon

2006-08-20T19:48:00.000-07:00

I came in 769 out of well over 1000 people. Not too bad in my opinion. The swim was a little more difficult than I thought mostly because it was sooo crowded in the water and I was constantly getting kicked. The bike wasn't too bad but I blew out my rear tire with 1 mile left to go. The run was last and it was brutal. Very Hard to run 3 miles after those other two stages. But, I did it, and next year I'll be looking to beat 1 hour and 46 minutes

Mr. Pu

2006-08-16T13:08:00.000-07:00

The Bahamas was an amazing trip. We had such a great time. The weather was nice, the food/drinks were incredible and the resort (the Sandals Royal Bahamian) was more than we expected. I would definitely highly recommend this place to anyone. Having said that, its now time to get back to work, and back to training for my triathlon. The big race is this upcoming Sunday.

.6 miles Swim
10 mile Bike
3.1 mile run

I should be able to finish it in about 1 hour and 40 minutes. Any earlier than that and I'm going to be very proud of myself. Training's going well, aside from a flat tire I had last night on my bike, so I think I'm ready..

hope alls well
mr. pu

This is how my weekend began

2006-08-05T05:59:00.000-07:00

Well, it was Saturday morning, about 7:30am. Bella had been up for about 15 minutes, and Mrs. Pu took her downstairs for breakfast and to play. I was laying in bed, not really sleeping though. Anyway, my wife was in north carolina for a week, and when she got back she pretty much immediately got her period.......soooooooo.......I was thinking that this would be a good time to get a good session in with myself. It's not something I do that often, so I decided to give it a go. Well, about 5 minutes into my own play time, about 30 seconds from finishing up. Mrs. Pu walks right into the bedroom. Apparently I didn't hear her come up the steps. she catches me mid-stroke, and laughs hysterically..."HAHAHA...i caught you.....HaHAHA" Now, masturbating is something we both do, but we've never done it in front of eachother. Anyway, she's now in the room, I'm blushing, she continues to laugh, I keep going, and poor little Bella (who is in the living room downstairs) is starting to cry because Mommy isn't in the same room as her. So, Mrs Pu says "Don't worry Bella, mommy's comming......aaaaaannnnnndddddd........it looks like Daddy just did too"
Nice huh!
I wish I were making this up, but I'm not. I guess there could be worse things in life.......
Anyway, I hope your weekends are as exciting as mine, talk to you all soon, we leave for the Bahamas monday morning.
luv,
mr. pu

Today was the Pu's 4 year anniversary

2006-08-02T20:15:00.000-07:00

So, the wife and I got a babysitter and went out for an evening of fun. We started at Frank's Steak house. We were going to go to the diner, but when I got home from work and saw Mrs. Pu in a nice outfit, I decided that she was expecting slightly more than the diner. Anyway, Franks is the type of steak house where you can get a nice piece of cow and still use the crayons on the table to color your construction paper table cloth. Food was good, conversation was great, and the wine (although I have no idea what the fuck I ordered) was great as well. After that we skipped on over to the movie theatre where we saw Pirates of the Caribean. I saw the first one and loved it. This one was a bit dissapointing. Didn't like it too much, but we had fun anyways. That was pretty much the extent of our big date. Now, we're getting ready to go on our vacation to the Bahamas. We leave next Monday and get back Saturday night. We're heading down to the Sandals Royal Bahamian with my sister and brother-in-law. The kids are staying at the parents house. Should be fun.
Hope all's well with you all,
Mr. Pu

not much to say

2006-07-26T19:39:00.000-07:00

but here's Bella in her Afro....her and the wife are in NC right now, and as much as I relish the "vacation," I can't wait for them to get home

I'm not one to brag.....

2006-07-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

but if every men was as unselfish and attentive as I just was 45 minutes ago....this world would be a much happier place....

luv,
Mr. Pu

Recent developments in the Pu universe

2006-07-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

Hey crew......well here's whats up with me lately....
1- Mr. Pu is headed to Germany with his younger brother and Dad for 10 days in October!!! The Mrs. gave the ok, and she will most likely expect to be treated like a queen for a year, but thats a small price to pay for a once and a lifetime trip I think..

2- Speaking of Chris (my younger brother) he just won the fastest shot contest at the Major League Lacrosse All-Star game......Congrats to him
http://www.bostoncannons.com/news/?id=4777

3-Little Bella is about to turn 10 months and she's trying her hardest to walk, she's got 4 teeth, and she loves to be in the pool splashing around. She's developing quite the personality. She blows kisses and even hugs people now. It's really cute.

4-I signed up for that triathlon August 20th. I'm trying hard to juggle the baby, work, the house, and trying to train for this thing. It's a half mile swim, 10 mile bike, and then a 3 mile run. I can do all those things seperatetly, but one after another should be interesting.....wish me luck.

5-My employer moved me and my friends from our old building to a much more crowded, political, shit hole with evil lurking at every corner. It's a bit depressing actually, and aside from getting to see some old friends, I don't like it much...

6-I got a new CD player/Radio in my old civic........Yeah!!!!

7-I'm growing String Beans/Corn/Eggplant/Tomatoes/Bell Peppers and of course every Italian garden needs Basil too, and everything seems to be coming up well so far in my little garden.

8-Mrs. Pu and Bella are traveling to North Carolina with my in-laws in about two weeks. That's going to be a fun week for me. Although I'm planning on re-doing the bathroom for her while she's gone, I should be able to get some prime drinking/BBQ'ing and swimming in,.....maybe I'll break out that funnel where I met Mrs. Pu on to kick off the festivities...

I guess that's about it. I had a nice round of golf this past weekend with Tom/Mike and Chucky. Tom and I lost by a stroke, but it was fun.
Hope you're all having a fun summer
Root for the Boston Cannons if you get a chance...
Luv,
Mr. Pu

That son of a bitch mozart....

2006-06-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

tried to hump Bella.........I hate that fucking dog

Interesting Development

2006-06-21T18:44:00.000-07:00

So, my brother calls me up today and tells me that he and my father are planning a trip to Germany with some other members of their volunteer fire department for 10 days, and asks me if I'd like to go. The trip will cost me about $1000 for airfare, hotel, and breakfasts. Their fire department has a sister fire department in a town called Waldorf, so a bunch of them are going to go hang out and see some sites, and possibly see some other countries as well. Me, Chris and Dad would have the time of our lives together. Since my brother already owes me $800 from the NY Giants season tickets that I bought back in the winter, this could potentially be a free trip for me. Now comes the hard part......convincing Mrs. Pu that her husband and his two amigos want to go to Germany during Octoberfest (Oh yeah, the trips during October) and go galavanting around with out a care in the world. Now normally, I'd butter her up with some flowers, and some really nice Pu behavior before I ask for extravagant things, but I think this time, I'm just going to ask her with out all that jazz. Serious businees calls for some serious behavior...

Wish me luck,
Mr. Pu

Happy Father's Day to me.....

2006-06-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

Well, this morning Mrs. Pu and Bella let me sleep in for a bit, and when I awoke and lumbered downstairs, I was presented with some pancakes and a new cd/radio for my civic. I was pretty happy since I've wanted one for a few months now, but I've been responsible and didn't want to spend money recklessly (sound familiar gross?). Anyway, now I'm relaxing, throwing a few beers back watching another World Cup Soccer match. The Italian/US game yesterday was a truly great one for anyone who didn't watch it. Mrs. Pu is a great soccer player and she got me interested in the sport when we were in college together. Normally I think the sport is boring, but when the world cup rolls around every four years, I really seem to get into it. Well, I should be going. We're entertaining my parents, my grandparents, my brother (who's Boston Cannons are once again doing great this year), my sister, her husband and their son MJ, my inlaws (which means I'll be drinking a lot because their fucking crazy, especially the woman) and my eccentric brother-in-law who always finds a reason to make every conversation about himself.

Enjoy father's day everyone, I'll be at the grill cooking up some chicken and burgers in 90° heat, with a lot of empty beer bottle by my side

Luv,
Mr. Pu

To Whomever

2006-06-11T17:26:00.000-07:00

is the fucking asshole that keeps letting their large dog shit on my front lawn........don't let me catch you. Because if I do, I will not go and fight you, but I will follow you home, scout out where you live, and go to your house on occasion and smear shit (probably Bella's) all over your car...over and over again

luv,
Mr. Pu

I have still not finished the rock wall......

2006-06-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=13016049&postID=112984442668294906

Saturdy July 22nd

2006-05-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

ok, here's the deal.....MY wife is taking my daughter to see my wife's long lost Relatives, down in North Carolina. Since I need to use my vacation time for other things, I will not be accompanying them on the trip to NC. So, my wife and my inlaws and Isbella will be leaving JFk airport at noon, on Saturday July 22nd, and returing the following friday. What this means is that Mr. Pu will be partying like it's 1999 for an entire week straight, starting with saturday night.

So, here's the official invite........Saturday July 22nd, anywhere after 4pm, Mr Pu will be having a party. ANyone who reads this is invited. I'll be sending out a few more feeler invites once the date becomes closer, but it lookes like I may be dusting off the old funnel for this one......

Hope you all had a wonderful memorial day weekend....We did. We took Bella to the beach for the first time, we had MJ's 1st B-day, and we had a lot of fun on memorial day with a nice BBQ at home.
love you all,
Mr. Pu

Taylor Hick's sounds

2006-05-23T19:10:00.000-07:00

so much better when I close my eyes

Since there have been some requests

2006-05-18T12:15:00.000-07:00

I've decided to begin marketing my latest item to not only help satisfy my need for some cash but also to help bring a little excitement to everyone's sex life out there. So here you go ladies, or gentlemen, the HuFlungPu thong.........enjoy.....

I saw United 93

2006-05-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

this weekend with Mrs. Pu. A nice dinner at Applebee's followed by the reliving of probably one of the most horrible days in our country's history. For anyone who hasn't seen this movie. I really recommend it. Even though I left the movie theatre extremely angry, very mad, emotional and with a huge sense of helplessness, I thought the movie was really well made, and it helps people remember something that shouldn't be forgotten.

I hope all you mother's had a happy mother's day

Mr. Pu

So, I went to the card store today......

2006-05-06T19:58:00.000-07:00

and here's how it went. I bought 5 mother's day cards. One for my mom, one for my mother-in-law, one for my grandma, one for my wife's god mother, and finally one for Bella's god mother, who happens to be my sister. It's my Dad's Birthday on the 11th, so I got him a birthday card as well. While in the Birthday card section, I picked one up for my mom, her Birthday's on the 16th. I also found one for my brother-in-law, who was born on the 14th. He's the one married to my sister, and they happen to be the proud parents of MJ, my god child, who happens to be born on the 20th. So, I got him a card as well. Keeping with the theme, I picked up a birthday card for my brother, he was born on the 19th. Finally I went into the get well section and bought myself a get well card for the massive fucking headache I had just trying to pick out all these cards.
Hope I didn't lose any of you,
Mr. Pu

Went to the Mets game tonight.....

2006-05-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

with some people from work, here's what I learned...

1) $5 upper deck seats are a great deal. As much as I dislike the Mets and love the Yankees, the same seats at Yankee stadium would've been 20-30 bucks

2) Tailgating, if only for a short time, is a great way to hang out with people, nothing beats a Solo cup filled with my favorite beverage

3) If you're a guy, and you're dating a girl, and she's not giving you any sex, then you need to "get down there" and do your job in order to make her happy and willing

4) Massages can leave bruises....believe me, they can

5) Spending quality time with the people you work with outside of the work environment is a lot of fun

6) Don't dress like a fucking athlete and then take the escalator

and finally, kicking someone in the ass is a perfectly good way to say hello if you hate them

luv,
Mr. Pu

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

2006-04-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. Asmuch as we try toconvince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP isinevitable. For those whohate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guidefor taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING:When farting, you walk briskly around the office sothe smell is not inyour area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn'tknow where it camefrom. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop untilthe full fart hasbeen expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure thesmell has leftyour pants.

FLY BY:This is the act of scouting out a bathroom beforepooping. Walk in andcheck for other poopers. If there are others in thebathroom, leave andcome back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENTFLYER. People maybecome suspicious if they catch you constantly goinginto the bathroom.

ESCAPEE:This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak atthe urinal orforcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompaniedby a sudden waveof embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do notacknowledge it.Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next tothe farter in theurinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes anescapee. It isuncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke orlaughing makes bothparties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK:When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at amachine gun pace. Thisis usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. Ifthis shouldhappen, do not panic. Remain in the stall untileveryone has left thebathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of whatjust occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH:The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poophits the water. Thisreduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink upthe bathroom.This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OFSHAME.

WALK OF SHAME:Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door afteryou have juststunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortablemoment if someonewalks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best topretend that thesmell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk canbe avoided withthe use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:This is a colleague who poops at work and is damnproud of it. You willoften see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter thebathroom with anewspaper or magazine under his or her arm.Always look around the office for the Out Of TheCloset Pooper beforeentering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):A group of co-workers who band together to ensureemergency pooping goesoff without incident. This group can help you tomonitor the whereaboutsof Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFEHAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS:A Safe Haven is seldom-used bathrooms somewhere in thebuilding whereyou can least expect visitors. Try floors that arepredominantly of theopposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper ofyour sex enteringthe bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:This is someone who does not realize that you are inthe stall and triesto force the door open. This is one of the mostshocking and vulnerablemoments that can occur when taking a poop at work Ifthis occurs, remainin the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This wayyou will avoid alluncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into thebathroom that youare in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can beused to cover- up aWATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. TheCamo-Cough is veryeffective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alertpotential TurdBurglars that you are occupying a stall. This will alldoubt that thestall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave thebathroomimmediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splashwhen hitting thetoilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident.If you feel aWatermelon coming on, create a diversion. SeeCAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET:A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loudsplashes in the toiletwater. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using aCamo-Cough with anAstaire.

UNCLE AARON or AUNT MICHELLEAn Uncle Aaron or aunt Michelle is a bathroom user whoseems to lingeraround forever.This person could spend extended lengths of time infront of the mirroror sitting on the pot. An Uncle Aaron makes itdifficult to relax whileon the crapper, as you should always wait to poop whenthe bathroom isempty. This benefits you as well as other bathroomattendees. Hope theSurvival Guide helps, as the WORKPOOP is an inevitablepart of life.

recent updates....

2006-04-26T19:04:00.000-07:00

1 - Bella just turned 7 months old
2 - Mrs. Pu is healthy and happy
3 - Lots of projects going on around the house.
4 - My little brother and his Boston Cannons teammates begin their lacrosse season in 4 weeks
5 - We're about to purchase a car
6 - I was able to obtain two season tickets for the NY Giants next year, I'm so happy about this
7 - Work is so fucking boring I don't know what to do with myself, I'm beginning to get very good at minesweeper though. Also, I bought a book of puzzles called, sukodo, or some japanes shit. They're very addicting
8 - Summers right around the corner, and thus begins BBQ season here on LI.
9 - I signed up for a triathlon in August, so hopefully that entices my lazy ass to get out there and exercise
10 - Life is good........................................sometimes

Hope you're all well,
Mr. Pu

Bella enjoying a nice shoe during Easter

2006-04-17T13:18:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone's holiday weekend went well. It's finally starting to get warm up here in NY, and that means I get to go outside and start taking care of my lawn/garden etc. I just bought some corn seeds and green bean seeds. Those should be quite Yummy aroun the end of July when I combine them with a nice steak from my grill....enjoy the spring time everyone

Something to lighten the mood

2006-04-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

Three gay men died, and were going to be creamated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."

The second man said, "My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."

The third man said, "My Bruce was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."

why is it...

2006-03-31T19:21:00.000-08:00

that one can claim to be such a nice person, but then act in away that can totally dissapoint someone?

the party.....

2006-03-27T05:54:00.000-08:00

was a huge success. My wife was totally shocked. Everyone had a great time, and it was good to see a lot of friends that we hadn't seen in a while. On a sour note though. Mrs. Pu plays in a soccer league every Sunday afternoon, and she's a bit of an aggressive player. Anyway, she may have broken her ankle yesterday while diving around on the soccer field. So, today she's at the emergency room getting x-rays. I really pray its not broken.........that would suck big balls

the surprise

2006-03-22T19:22:00.000-08:00

birthday party is only 3 days away, and the planning is in full force. So far, Mrs' Pu has not a clue, and everything is going according to plan. I really hope we can keep this a surprise, because she's absolutely going to love seeing her house full of her family and friends. I think I even managed to get her older brother from out of town to show up. She's giong to be so surprised.

btw - Bella is doing absolutely great. She's sitting up, rolling over, talking up a storm, and enjoying life. Can't wait for the next one.......................

love,
Mr. Pu

11 days left until....

2006-03-14T18:16:00.000-08:00

My wife's surprise 30th B-Day party. It's next saturday night. Hopefully she doesn't have a clue. I've got about 40 people coming over to the house, and I'll be bringing her back from dinner and when we walk through the front door......SURPRISE!!!!! I hope it all goes well.....

Just found out...

2006-03-09T09:46:00.000-08:00

that the new guy in metrology doesn't wash his hands after he takes a shit. That's nice. Guess I won't be shaking his hand EVER

The individual

2006-03-07T08:18:00.000-08:00

that sits next to me is really beginning to irritate me. I have to go walk around and find ways to not let this dummy frustrate me so much........I need a vacation

A father and his...

2006-03-02T18:42:00.000-08:00

little girl went into a barber shop so that "Dad" could get a little trim. Anyway, as the man started to get his hair cut the little girl sat in a chair waiting patiently, while snacking on a treat. The barber turns to the girl and says "Hey sweetie, you better watch out, your gonna get hair all over your twinkie"

The cutie pie responds....."I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too!"

2006-02-28T13:03:00.000-08:00

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

I started swimming yesterday...

2006-02-22T11:43:00.000-08:00

to get back into shape. I used to be captian of my high school swim team back in the day. My events were the 200 IM, and the 100 Butterfly. I wasn't too shabby either. I was actually 6th in the county my senior year in the butterfly. Anyway, swimming comes really naturally to me, and I enjoy it. It's also a lot easier on my old aching joints and knees, so I thought it'd be a good way to get back into shape. So, yesterday was my first day at the public pool. Goggles in hand, I went out to the pool deck, and proceeded to dive into ice fucking cold water. I did my laps, more than I thought I'd do, and I went back to the locker room to shower up and go home. There's something about going to a mens public locker room, not sure how the women's ones are, but in the mens, all you see is old naked shriveled up dick. It's quite scary actually. Well, hope everyone's week is going well. The wife and I are going to see Billy Joel at MSG this saturday night, and combined with some more painting around the house, I should have a pretty good weekend.
Mr. Pu

I can see the light...

2006-02-17T18:45:00.000-08:00

at the end of the tunnel. The last major project in our house is winding down. We've done a lot to our humble little home like installing new hardwood floors, tons of new paint, installing new closet doors (thanks Mr. Tom), refinishing the deck, installing molding everywhere, new carpets, new light fixtures..you get the idea. Anyway, the last project is a big one......ripping down the wall-paper in the downstairs hallway, the steps upstairs, and the upstairs landing. Then installing a nice colonial style molding, and finally painting everything. Anyway, we're up to the painting stage, and hopefully by the end of this weekend, we'll be most of the way through that. I've got my parents coming over tomorrow to help paint, and the in-laws coming over on Sunday. Monday is a Daddy and Bella day as the Mrs. and her Dad are going skiing upstate. I unfortunantly did a little damage to my knee earlier in the winter and am unable to strap on the old snowboard for the time being.
ANyway, have a great presidents day weekend everyone. Stay warm
Love,
Mr. Pu

Enough....

2006-02-13T07:14:00.000-08:00

fucking around with the snow shovel.....I will be buying a snowblower, and I will be the guy that helps out all his neighbors. I'm sick of shoveling, and the recent dumping we just recieved has finally convinced me to splurge and purchase one.

Is It just me....

2006-02-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

Or is anyone else worried that the world is on the verge of a true holy war? Won't it be funny to tell our grandchildren that the flashpoint for World War 3 was a bunch of Cartoons?

I guess if one is truly angry at something, anything and everything could be used as a rallying point for violence.

peace,
Mr. Pu

My Weekend....

2006-02-05T19:17:00.000-08:00

I've been married for 3 and a half years now. I dated Mrs. Pu about 2 and a half years before we got married. Before we dated, I knew her for about 4 years all through college, anyway, I guess you could say that I know her pretty well by now. You'd think I'd be able to tell the difference between the normal Mrs. Pu, and the PMS'ing Mrs. Pu by now. Well, dummy me, I still can't. She decided to pick this weekend to have a full blown emotional, PMS, scream-a-thon on me. She tore into me like a monkey on a cupcake. I didn't have a chance. And then Sunday morning, when I awoke, I went out and got a bouquet of Tulips for her before she woke up, like it was my fuckin fault that I got screamed on.
What I did to deserve the treatment I got......I'll never know. But it certainly wasn't a very pleasent experience

My Birthday Celebration

2006-01-22T19:22:00.000-08:00

Well, January 20th, was Mr. Pu’s 31st Birthday, and in true Pu form, I celebrated like I was 21 years old. It all began Friday morning, when the Mrs. and I awoke to the wonderful sounds of Isabella talking to herself. For those who know what I’m talking about, you know how cool that is. Then I went to work, where I got a few “Oh my god, you’re so old” comments. No big deal. Anyway, after work, the Freak, Sally and Mr. J and I went to the local Happy hour spot where I was very generously treated to some Beer, appetizers, and a shot of Jaegermeister; the perfect way to start an evening in my opinion. Well, after that I went to Tom and Squan’s house for a little Pizza and another round of drinks before we headed out to meet the crew at another Bar. Got to the next bar where my brother Chris, Dan the pot head and some others including the Freak, Sally and their gangs were waiting to throw back some more shots. It got pretty ugly after about an hour, and a few of us are having a hard time remembering what the hell happened. Anyway, eventually I got home, where Mrs. Pu found me at 5 am, naked, on the living room couch passed out. Nice huh? I guess that’s the way Birthdays should be celebrated…right???
Love
Mr. Pu

2006-01-15T18:30:00.000-08:00

The annual Snowboard trip was a big success...10 adults and 4 kids were running all over my brother-in-laws house in the Catskills. The fellas and I went to a local pub called the Frog's House. It was an absolute shit hole, and when us guys got back to the house where the women had been watching the kids for 4 hours, they hapily handed them to us, and then drove themselves to the Frog's House, and proceeded to do a little drinking of their own. All in all, the weather was terrible, but the company/drinks and overall atmosphere whas great. Can't wait for next year's trip when Bella's actually old enought to sled down the mountain with me.

Anyway, the pic you see is of my brother-in-laws house.....a place where many a fun night has been had. I personally enjoy sitting on the front porch with a few drinks in one hand and a cigar in the other.

Hope you all had a great weekend
Mr. Pu

The Annual Snowboarding Trip

2006-01-13T10:26:00.000-08:00

Well, this weekend the whole gang is heading up to Hunter Mountain in the Catskills for our annual snowboarding trip. The only difference is that we’ll be traveling with little kids this time. Little Bella is 4 months old, my nephew is 8 months, and lil’ Grace is two and her baby sister is about 3 months old. This annual trip has always been a great time, filled with lots of alcohol, some funny snowboarding stories and a lot of late nights doing stupid things. We go up to my brother-in-laws house and there are about 12 of us usually. It's a beautiful house, set on top of a mountain, with lots of nooks and crannies to run around and play in. Let’s hope the little kids have fun, and I’m sure I’ll have some type of funny story to tell.

Here’s to Bella’s first road trip…….hope she likes it

Sec 115, Row 41, Seat 22

2006-01-09T06:38:00.000-08:00

That was my brothers seat for the NY Giants / Carolina Panthers playoff game yesterday. Needless to say, after 60 minutes of extremely frustrating football, that little red seat found its way into our car for the ride home.
I wonder where I'll hang it???

That's all I have to say about that

Quick question...

2006-01-03T18:16:00.000-08:00

If you could choose your career all over again, what would you do differently???

I think if I could go back in time, I'd be a fireman, and if that didn't work out, a meteorologist.
mr
pu

My daughter has captured my heart

2005-12-19T18:02:00.000-08:00

After the first few weeks of feeding them, changing them, getting up at all hours of the night, babies are kind of like pets, they're a part of you, but somewhat distant. Then once they get to about 3 months, they start giggling, laughing, smiling at you, recognizing you.....it's a lot of fun, and I absolutely love her, and like I've said...she's captured or even stolen my heart......Anyway, I've refrained from posting any pics on this site, but here's Isabella at about 3 months old. The first one was from thanksgiving, and the second one is from our Christmas card that we sent out to our family and friends.
Hope your all doing well.
Mr. Pu

The lazy eye

2005-12-13T10:33:00.000-08:00

So I'm in king kullen ordering my weekly cold cuts over the weekend, when out of the corner of my eye, one of the king kullen deli workers (not the one who's helping me) is staring right at me and while smiling he says....."Hey, would you like a slice of Ham?"

"No thank you sir, I'm good, just ate lunch"

Then in a serious tone, almost like he's my parent or something
"I wasn't talking to you, I'm talking to the guy next to you, the one I'm waiting on"

"Oh, sorry" I uttered, somewhat taking back by his tone, and now I'm thinking to myself........... why the hell are you staring right at me when you said that to me you stupid fuck.............and then I realized, this dumb bastard has a lazy eye

That's the story of the deli man with the lazy eye

Hedonism, Jamaica

2005-12-06T18:19:00.000-08:00

I was conversing with the sugar V the other day about my trip to Hedonism, Jamaica. And I thought I'd fill in the blogger world about it. Hedonism is a resort where people check their inhibitions at the door. People get drunk, get naked and run around the beach, the disco, and the pools and hot tubs.....you get the idea. Anyway, I was about 22 years old, and me and five fellas decided to go down there and get crazy. We were shy at first, and it took us about 3 days to work up the courage to make our way to the nude beach and the nude bar and the nude pool and the nude hot tub. After about day three, we were drunk enough to do it. So, now imagine the slow motion scene from reservior dogs where the five guys are walking down the alley....that was us, except we were six drunk guys with very flaccid penises.......oh the humanity. Anyway, we didn't care, not that any of us have anything to be ashamed of, but it was a funny site. So, we went to the nude beach expecting to see some nude young ladies to potentially hook up with. Unfortunantly, we got a crowd of 30-70 year olds. So the hooking up didn't happen. But we did have the time of our lives, and for some reason none of us cared about being totally naked in front of each other. It's was kind of surreal at first, but then it was almost normal, if that makes sense. Having a nude conversation with someone is something everyone should experience. Anyway, we did have a lingerie party at the bar/club, that was awesome considering I was wearing a chiseled 22 year old body and the tightest boxers I owned, and my future brother-in-law only had on a banana leaf. We also left the premises and went to a local Jamaican strip club, which is not the safest thing to do, and went up on stage and pretended to eat out the local whores. Again, not a very wise thing to do. But we did buy a few of the locals a round of Red Stripe, so they let us have our fun. Anyway, we survived, and we went cliff diving at a place called Ricks Cafe, so much fun. And, we had the time of our lives. Hedonism, Jamaica, was one of the best vacations I ever took, and it was by far the wildest adventure I ever went on.
Mr. Pu

things I learned this weekend

2005-11-28T05:57:00.000-08:00

Puttings together four reindeer that light up on the front lawn takes an awful lot of patience

I should've bought stock in Home Depot....because I'm always f'n there

Poker with the fellas is fun regardless of whether or not you win money....but if you do win, it makes it even sweeter

It's takeing longer and longer to recover from a hangover lately

Instant Messaging is addictive

Ripping down wallpaper is one of life's cruelest jobs

Isabella, although it's all gibberish, can talk a mile a minute.

Don't step in dog shit, and then walk through the house after your wife has just washed the floors

Happy hours are so much more fun if you're friends with the entire crowd you're with

Finally......my mother-in-law is trouble

Have a Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

2005-11-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

Hey people, well, after a few hours of work, I have a pretty nice four day weekend planned. The work crew is getting together for Happy hour. That's always fun and exciting, always a great way to start uor weekend. Then tomorrow for Turkey day, the wife, Isabella and myself are heading to my parents for a good old fashioned thanksgiving dinner. There should be about 20 people there. This is the first thanksgiving that my parents are grandpartents, with Isabella and my 5 month old nephew, MJ. So, that should be a lot of fun. Friday, I'll probably do some yard work, and maybe rake up some of the leaves that have completely engulfed my lawn. Then Friday night I'm kicking the wife and the baby out the house, and it's poker night with the fellas. Wings, beer, poker, maybe a pasing college football game on. Should be fun. my brother, brother-in-law, Tom and his brother Squan, and my little buddy Startgell should all be present. After that, I really don't have much else planned. I'm sure we'll have to stop by the in-laws at some point on saturday, so that'll suck. But then on Sunday I'll be able to kick back, have a few drinks, and watch the NY Football giants kick the Seattle Seahawks ass.
I hope everyone has a happy and healthy Thanksgiving weekend.
Be safe
Mr. Pu

The Victoria's Secret catalogue

2005-11-17T16:12:00.000-08:00

came today. I really enjoy looking through it. But I have to ask the women out there.........Doesn't it feel uncomfortable, or even hurt to wear one of those thongs? Some of them look like they ride up the crack of your ass. I know I'd be uncomfortable I was wearing a thong. So, I asked my wife the same question, and her answer was, "yeah, that's why you only saw me in them when we were dating, now that you're mine....I aint wearing them again!"

2005-11-12T07:53:00.000-08:00

When you love someone, you'd do anything for them. Absolutely anything. It' a really cool feeling.
Today I'm spending the day outside raking up more f'in leaves with my daughter.

On a side note.....I could use a few more Yuenglings and a great lap dance.

2005-11-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

Is bad head better than no head ??? I say yes, but that leads me to my next question..........do girls or guys for that matter, practice giving blow jobs on things like cucumbers, bananas, or even pickles?

:)

2005-11-06T06:16:00.000-08:00

2005-11-01T15:59:00.000-08:00

This girl at work was talking about how she sometimes has to wipe some jizz off her face, and it reminded me of a funny story........One time, this girl was jerking me off, and in the heat of the moment, I shot myself in the face

I thought..

2005-10-28T19:07:00.000-07:00

I'd give you all the actual definition of the term "Sleep"

A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming.

Now doesn't that sound relaxing?

a bike, an old man, and some rocks

2005-10-20T14:35:00.000-07:00

I have a tree in my back yard, and this tree is so mean that it doesn’t allow any grass to grow around it. So it looks kind of yucky and muddy and it’s somewhat of an eyesore. Well, the wife and I decided to build a rock wall encircling the tree. We want it to be maybe a foot high, and it’ll probably be about 8-10 feet in diameter. Once complete, it’ll make that whole area look a lot neater. We want to use big rocks, like the size between a softball and a soccer ball. The only problem was that I don’t have 60-80 little boulders lying around my little 60 by 100 yard. So, I priced out buying some rocks, and wouldn’t you know it, they were expensive. Since I kind of have a principal about not buying ice cubes, I applied that same principal to not buying f’n rocks. So now I have a dilemma, where can I get some rocks to build my really cool rock wall. I decided to look around the neighborhood, and see if there were some rocks on some undeveloped piece of land, and there weren’t. So then I decided to see if there were some rocks on people’s actual property that they wouldn’t mind if I stole. You see, I have a history of stealing things, but that’s another story for another time. So, wouldn’t you know it, I found the perfect house that had hundreds of rocks that were running along the outside of these people’s property, and they were beautiful rocks, just ripe for the picking. Problem was, this house was about 3 miles away from mine. So I devised a plan. I’d hop on my bike, bring a back-pack, ride past this house, drop my bike, pretend that I had a flat or something, take a rock or two or three, put it in my back-pack, and then peddle away happily ever after. Of course I’d have to do this about 20 times in order to get enough rocks for my beautiful rock wall. So for about two weeks, without my wife’s consent of course, because if she knew, she’d be totally embarrassed, Mr. Pu has been stealing rocks on his bike, from these people’s house, and I’ve managed to steal about 15-20 big rocks. The first phase of my wall is complete, and these idiots didn’t even know what hit them. That is, until Wednesday evening, when my plan suddenly got all fucked up. I was riding, and then I layed my bike down, just as if I had a flat tire. I pretended to bang my back wheel with one of those rocks, and I slipped it into my backpack. Then out of the corner of my eye, I see this old man with a cane yelling and hobbling down his front steps at me. “Oh Shit, I’ve been made” I said. The old bastard yells back “Are you the fucker that’s taking my stones?” Not wanting to talk, I hop on the bike, throw about 30lbs of rocks on my back and peddle away as fast as I can. But this old fuck throws his cane at me, and it hits my bike and then skips across the street onto his neighbors property. Thank god it missed and I was able to peddle down the road, not before I flipped him the bird though. But it’s a long winding road, and I’m hoping that the old man falls down or something before he gets a chance to get in his car and chase me down. So I’m peddling like Lance Armstrong, up these hills, down these hills, trying to take short cuts. And the 30lbs of rocks are really starting to weight me down, but I wasn’t going to let my precious cargo drop to the ground. Anyway, to make a long story short, the old man never caught me, and I made it home dripping in sweat. But now, I’ll never ride my bike past that old bastard’s house again. And if anyone knows where I can get about 30 more big rocks, please let me know.
Thanks. Mr. Pu

What's worse

2005-10-18T19:52:00.000-07:00

Getting what you want, and then realizing it wasn't
or
not getting what you want, and leaving it as a fantasy forever?????

2005-10-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

At a bar one night ...............
"Excuse me, but you owe me a drink, a beer perhaps"
"Why?" she says

"because you're so ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you come in"

2005-10-13T09:28:00.000-07:00

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week?

A widow.

One of my goals in life

2005-10-11T19:22:00.000-07:00

aside from banging younger chics, is to do as little work as possible and get paid as much as I can doing it.

2005-10-10T05:48:00.000-07:00

I want a Golden Retriever, my wife wants a shit-zu. How to solve this dilemma is beyond me. What should I do??

btw - Isabella is doing well

2005-10-04T18:37:00.000-07:00

The english dictionary defines a "friend" as;
1: a person you know well and regard with affection and trust;
2: an associate who provides assistance;
3: a person with whom you are acquainted;
4: a person who backs a politician or a team etc.;
5: a member of the Religious Society of Friends founded by George Fox (I did not know this)

I define a "friend" as;
somebody who knows all about me, yet loves me anyway...Someone who I can share my feelings with, and someone who will tell me their honest thoughts no matter what my opinions on the subject are.

I love my friends

2005-10-03T08:47:00.000-07:00

Why was I fortunate to be born into the situation that I was, while others in this world have had nothing but bad things happen to them? I've been very fortunate, and I'm truly grateful for everything that I have, but life can be very cruel and seem very unfair at times. I'm not a big believer in god, so I'm not too good with religous matters or trying to explain things in that matter. But I'll just end this little discussion by saying that life is unfair, and some people deserve better

This song goes out to my good friend.......

2005-09-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in our lives,
we all have pain,
we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise,
we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on,
for it won't be long
'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.
Please swallow your pride,
if have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show.
You just call on me brother
when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem
that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
Lean on me when you't not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on,
for it won't be long
'til I'm gonna' need somebody to lean on.
You just call on me brother if you need a friend.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem
that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
If there is a load
you have to bear
that you can't carry.
I'm right up the road,
I'll share your load if you just call me.
Call me ( if you need a friend)
Call me

First week, and all's well......

2005-09-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

I've been a Dad for about a week now, and I think myself and my wife have been doing a really good job so far. She's gaining wieght, she's sleeping enough for her Mom and Dad to get a good amount of rest through the night, and she's absolutely adorable.
Here's what I've learned........

1) Isabella can produce more crap than her Daddy....no easy task.

2) Isabella can shit through her diaper, through her clothing, and onto me.

3) My wife is breast feeding, and that makes my daughters bowel movements resemble mustard.

4) A breast pump can make a woman's nipples look tremendous.

5) My wife's breasts are so freakin big right now.

6) A long walk with your child can be very relaxing.

7) Isabella is a great kid, so far she's sleeping about 6 hours a night.

8) Parenting makes you re-adjust your responsibilities, and it can actually make you lose track of time for a while.

9) When someone offers to help/babysit, take advantage of their offer.

10) I have a very calming effect on my daughter.

Finally, and I'm not too happy about this one, is the realization that one of the ways our daughter likes to be soothed is to either sit in something that vibrates, or suck on something.......wonderful.......

The story..............

2005-09-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm sitting at home, it's a little past midnight, and tomorrow morning my beautiful little girl and my amazing wife will be coming home from the hospital with the cab fare I left on her end table (just kidding, I'll be picking them up). Anyway, I thought I'd take this time to tell the story of how Isabella was born. I've told bits and pieces to a lot of people, but here's the full story.

Tuesday afternoon my wife calls me at work and complains that she's having a stomach ache. Our thinking at the time was that she was either sick from the rare or medium-rare steak that I'd BBQ'd the night before, or the diuretics she started taking so she wouldn't crap the bed while in labor, were finally having an effect. So, she goes to lay down and after finishing up some odds and ends at work, I wound up leaving about an hour early. I get home, and the two of us are laying in bed, and I decide to time her "stomach aches." They seemd to be coming every 5 minutes. We layed there for about an hour, and she then decided to go to the bathroom, where her mucus plug decided to pay us a visit. As soon as we noticed that, we decided to call dr. Stinky fingers. He said go to the hospital and I'l meet you there. It was now 7:30. We got there and there were more women giving birth then there were beds in the labor/delivery ward!!!! We had to sit in the waiting room. Our dr. finally arrived and he said, lets get out of here, my office is 2 blocks away and I'll examine you there. So, we got back in the car, and at this time my wife's stomach aches were getting a little more intense. We met the dr. and he checked out my wife. 2 cm dilated was she, and her contractions were now 3 minutes apart. He said, this baby wants out, and it wants out fast. Why don't you go home and hang out for an hour and then come back and we'll admit you into the hospital.
Since we lived a little too far for that, we decided to go to my inlaws who were only about a mile away from there. We showed up, unannounced at the door, not realizing that they were having guests and a dinner party. What an amazing way to crash a party. "Hi, mom, we're about to have a baby, and I need to walk around your living room for an hour!!"
So, I called my family, and told them the situation, and said we'd be back up at the hospital around 9:30. When the time came, the wife and I got back in the car, and drove back to the labor/delivery ward, which had thankfully cleared out a bit. Our parents and double down pu were there to cheer us on as we walked by (very dorky). Anyway, My wife still hadn't dilated any further, but her dr decided to give her an epidural at 11pm. She was in lala land and having very strong/massaive contractions and not even noticing, even sleeping for a while. By about 1:30am, she was fully dilated, and ready to push. The crazy cheerleader nurse came in, and coached my wife into three big pushes for every contraction. But my stubborn wife was not content with only three. She wanted to do four, and then she wanted to do five. It got to a point where she didn't even want to rest in between contractions. She was dermined to use every ounce of strength to get this kid out. The dr came back in around 3:00 and then they prepped my wife for the final couple of pushes. I was right there, holding her leg, witnessing the whole child birth from a vantage point that the squemish should never venture near. Anyway, my little daughter was born a few moments later, and my life has since changed forever. I then trned and asked the dr to throw an extra stitch in my wife for me. hahaha.
We spent about an hour in the room with the three of us, and the four grandparents. Then the grandparents left, and the nursery took Isabella upstairs, then they transferred my wife to her room. After she was settled, I wound up leaving the hospital about 6am, and I got home, slept for about an hour, got up, and then proceeded to tell the world about my night.
I always wanted a boy, but there's just something about the way a little girl can make you feel that makes you wonder how you ever lived without her. She fits so perfectly in my arms. I can't wait to get her home.
That's the story of how lil' Isabella was born, a story that I can't wait to share with her one day.

:)

2005-09-14T05:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm now the Daddy of an absolutely beautiful little baby girl........she's so cute....
Isabella was born at 3:17 this morning. 7 pounds 13 ounces, 20 inches long, and I must say, she's as good looking as her Daddy.
I love her

This may be it!!!!

2005-09-13T15:11:00.000-07:00

It's 6:30 Tuesday evening and the mrs and I are experiencing a lot of strange events over here at the house. We called Dr. Stinky Fingers and he said "get to the hospital."

I'm about to be a daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Recent developments

2005-09-09T16:45:00.000-07:00

First off, to answer the question on everyone's mind lately, No, she's not in labor yet. This unborn kid wants no part of the outside world just yet, and that's fine by me. I could use a little extra sleep lately.
Anyway, I took the wifey out to the diner tonight to celebrate me being a great guy and we got into talking about some of her past relationships. Apparently, my wife has dated one of the biggest assholes I know! While I knew she did go out on a date with him, I didn't know it lasted as long as she just told me! So, now, when I look at this shmuck, which I will on occasion because he wound up marrying one of my wife's best friends, I will forever be haunted by the image I'm having right now.
Aside from that, the week has been relatively quiet. I did decide to give my wife a present though. There's been much talk on this blog and a few others about the maintenance of men's and women's pubic regions. Well, since it's been a while since the two of us have engaged in any activities of the x-rated nature. I decided to change my appearance a little. I no longer have the free flowing dreadlocks between my legs. They are gone, all gone, down to the bare skin. It feels good actually, but I've been wondering, should I use aftershave down there? Anyway, I understand that after she gives birth we'll have to wait a few more weeks before we're allowed to act like rabbits again, so I'll save the unveiling for then. I told her about what I did, she was shocked and dying to take a peak, but I'm not allowing her to see just yet. You see...........absence makes the heart grow fonder........

Baby Update

2005-09-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

Well, the doc told my wife that it could be any day now. Also, he's not going to let her go past next wednesday before he induces her. So, as of today we're two days beyond the due date, and still no little one. Oh well......I guess I'll have to wait a little longer.

2005-09-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

Men vs Women
1.NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch,they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionatelyrefer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head andScrappy.
2.EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throwin $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will haveanything smaller and none will actually admit they want changeback.When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3.MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't needbut it's on sale.
4.BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shavingcream, razor,a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroomis 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5.ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a newargument.
6.CATSWomen love cats.Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking,men kick cats.
7.FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8.SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money thanhis wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9.MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but hedoesn't.A man marries a woman expecting that she won't changeand she does.
10.DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, emptythe garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11.NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12.OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knowsabout dentist appointments and romances, best friends,favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes.There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
AND FINALLY.....A couple drove down a country road for several miles, notsaying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argumentand neither of them wanted to concede their position. As theypassed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husbandasked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep,"the wife replied, "in-laws."

Weekend Update

2005-09-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

Well, so far, we're still waiting. No contractions, no water breaking, no baby. Fine by me, as my big fantasy football live draft is tomorrow night. So, nothing to report as of yet. Anyway, the weekend was great. The weather on Long Island was beautiful this labor day weekend. Went out to dinner with the wife one night, saw my family, saw my little nephew, saw some friends, did a few belly flops in the pool, had a few drinks (not too many 'cause I do have to drive to the hospital one of these days), saw the inlaws (every day), got a lot of things done at the house, ate a nice 2lb lobster, bought some new clothes and I finished it off by sitting in my backyard working on my tan with a few cold ones and a couple Bob Marley CD's on shuffle. Beautiful end to the summer.
Hope all your weekends went well.
luv,
mr. Pu

PS, lets all bow our heads in a moment of silence for the captian.

2005-09-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

Ok fans, here’s the latest. So far Mrs. Pu is 100% effaced. Meaning the baby has made its way to the bottom of the cervix. She’s comfortable, resting, staying off her feat, and in the AC. It’s hot as balls up here today! Anyway, the doctor told her she could go any day in the next 10 days. So, our Labor Day plans are very much up in the air. We have some things planned, like dinner with friends tonight, a family BBQ on Sunday, but aside from that we’re pretty much waiting around for the little one to pop out.

I’ll keep you all updated if there’s any further news.
Mr. Pu is about to become a Daddy!!!!!

Ps, one a side note, please donate money to the victims of the Hurricane. The victims, as well as the local and national governments were totally caught of guard and unprepared to handle a crisis like this.
www.redcross.org

2005-08-30T16:08:00.000-07:00

I’m so nervous for my wife. I know that in the next two weeks, we’ll have a new little baby, a beautiful bundle of joy. But she’s going to have to go through a lot of pain in order to make this happen, and I don’t want to see her go through that. I’d do anything to make it even slightly less painful for her. She’s tough, and she’ll be fine when all’s said and done. But I know I’m not going to like seeing her go through this.

AAAAHHHHHHHHH

2005-08-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

My inlaws have recently put their house up for sale. No big deal, right? Wrong.......This means they'll be looking to move closer to their only daughter. That's my wife. Damn it! They were the perfect distance away....20 minutes. They called us today and said they're looking at open houses...........................in my fuckin neighborhood. Don't get me wrong. I do not dislike my inlaws. It's just that they're always around, and always trying to influence my wife's decisions. They stopped trying to influence mine a while ago, after they realized I don't fall for their mind games. I told my wife that if they move too close, I'll be looking to get seperated, and leave. She said go ahead, you wouldn't know where to go. Get an apartment, and then a cute girl is what I told her (39 week pregnant women love comments like that).
Anyway, I'll keep you all updated as the inlaws house hunt continues.
Please lord.........don't let this happen
luv,
Mr. Pu

I don't understand..

2005-08-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

why some people can be so mean. I was in Home Depot the other day and they have this self-check out lane where it can get a little confusing as to whether there are two seperate lines or one line. Anyway, 99% of the people pretty much just let the person who got their first, go before them, regardless of which line they happen to be on. Why the Home Depot people have never fixed this little problem is beyond me. Because it's not just in the Home Depot by my house. It's in any one I've ever been in. Anyway, the other day these two guys get into a full blown argument about who was on line first, and who should go next. "Blow it out your ass." "Fuck you, asshole" "Go ahead, hit me, see what happens to you." Just a sample of what was yelled at each other. Nothing wound up happening, and eventually the two morons went about their way. But the lovely part of this whole scene was that the main guy who started the fight, had his little boy with him. Teaching his little son all the ins and outs of how to be a complete asshole. So now, their will be one more dick head out there thanks to this fucking jerk.
Why people can't be more nice to each other is beyond me. It's really not that hard. Stop making fun of people, stop being nasty, and maybe everyone can get along a little better. Imagine how much nicer this world would be if we were all a little less mean. I'm an optimist but I doubt this will ever come true.

On a side note, a little bit of Pu history for all my loyal readers............the first time I went down on a girl; her older sister, neice and nephew walked in the front door as we scrambled to put all her clothes back on. Lucky for me, we weren't caught, lucky for her I got the job done....... ahhhhhhh the good old days

2005-08-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

Well, things are rolling along nicely in the Pu house lately. Trying to finish up all the little projects around the house before our little bundle of joy arrives. We’re still fighting over the name of our soon to be child, but I think we’ll figure it out. The wife is much more sentimental than I am, and she’d like to have one of her parent’s names somewhere in there. I don’t really think my in-laws names are all that great and I only want the name to sound nice. Deep down, I’d let my wife win this argument, but I’ll let her sweat it out a little.
Aside from the recent name game we’re playing, she’s feeling good, and I’m getting sick. I haven’t stopped running around fixing stuff up in the house. I come home from work, and I usually do about 3 more hours of house fixing before I retire to the couch. When I wake up in the morning I feel like I need a fork lift to get me out of bed……This leads me to my question. If I’m so tired now, and I don’t even have a kid, how am I going to be able to handle it when the baby comes, or even the second or third baby down the road?? I’m actually a little nervous, and I'm not really one to get nervous about things. Usually I don't worry about anything, but this is actually starting to creep into my mind.

2005-08-22T05:59:00.000-07:00

Well, Mrs. Pu is now 38 weeks pregnant. It could be any day now that I’m on my way to the hospital to welcome into the world my first born. There are however a few rules I told her she needs to follow in these upcoming days. For one, her water is not to break on my new bedroom carpet, or on my couch. Two - she can not go into labor on the night when we’re holding our big fantasy football live draft. Three – Labor can not begin while or during a Giants Football game. Finally, four – we have one last date planned for the two of us, a very relaxing day next weekend where we’ll pretty much just enjoy each others company, and this baby is not allowed to pop out during our final day of rest with each other.

I don’t think these rules are too harsh?

I Hate the Long Island Lizards

2005-08-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

Because of them, Double Down Pu and the rest of his Boston Cannon team-mates will not be playing in the MLL championship game on Sunday.

2005-08-18T17:14:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Thursday evening, and double-down Pu (my little brother) is en route to Boston. He's got practice tomorrow morning, and then he and his Boston Cannon team-mates will be playing the Long Island Lizards in the Major League Lacrosse championship semi-finals. I just got off the phone with him and he is pumped up. He sounds like he's about to rip someone's head off. He's also got a job interview tomorrow morning for a sales rep position for a company that manufacturers lacrosse equipment. Let's all wish him luck.
My parents are on their way up there for the weekend too, and if little baby Pu wasn't so close to being born, the wife and I would be right behind them.
Anyway, if he and his team win tomorrow night, they'll be playing the championship game on Sunday afternoon 1pm on ESPN2, live.
I'll keep you all updated.

Story Time.......

2005-08-17T16:27:00.000-07:00

It was a very hot night, in the lovely city of Binghamton, NY. No ac and no breeze to cool anything off. These guys were a couple of rounds of shots into a bottle of Southern Comfort, about to head out to a local bar, when there was a knock on the door.

“You think you guys can keep it down, I’m trying to sleep” said the extremely overweight women from the apartment below. She had to be pushing 350 plus pounds.
“Calm down lady, we’re about to get out of here soon. Hey you wanna do some shots with the fellas!”
“Alright”

For those who don’t know, Binghamton used to be an up and coming town, IBM had a huge plant up there, and all was great. But then in the 80’s, IBM left town and the rest has gone to shit. Lots of townies, lots of people with a few teeth missing, and too many people doing their clothes shopping at garage sales. You get the idea.

An hour later, and a few too many shots, the fat lady was getting rowdy.
“I thought you guys were going out”
“Not any more, we got a reason to stay” said the skinny pothead
The fat lady smiled back, winked at the fellas, and proceeded to unzip the skinny mans pants. Her head in his lap, he sat back, and let the fat lady get down to business.

“You like that?” he says
“Uh huh, maybe your friend over there can fuck me at the same time.” Big momma says proudly.

So the skinny man’s friend gets behind that big rump and proceeds to get down to business. Hot night, no ac, and the most disgusting threesome on the history of the planet starts to unfold.

So while the fat lady was being hit in her face with the skinny pothead’s skinny dick, his partner was getting busy in her rear. Took him a while to find the hole which was hidden between the sweat filled layers of her ass, but eventually a full fledge porn started to unfold.

Within fifteen minutes, the show was over, both men finished up at the same time, with a little love on her face, and a lot on her big fat rump.

10 minutes later, the guys were outside, continuing their night, and on their way to the local bar.
The fat lady went back downstairs to check on her kid………………….

My parents house

2005-08-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

Well, another weekend has come to close, and I really had a great one. Friday was a lot of fun, would've been better had I not been driving or had a conscience, but that's ok. Saturday was my god child's christening complete with full blown party at my parents, and Sunday was a little BBQ/ finish up the left-overs, again at my parents. I really love my parents house. It's an absolutely tremendous old victorian home. It was built around 1890, and believe me, it has all the character of a home that is well past its centenial birthday. It's got 6 bedrooms, 3 full baths, wrap around front/side porch, formal dining/living rooms, a library, and very large eat in kitchen, a 20 by 20 ft family room which overlooks a back yard with a swimming pool and enough deck space and lawn to host a 200 person event. Oh yeah and a 2 bedroom apartment in the basement. Anyway, it's a really old house and growing up, my father and I would fix virtually anything and everything that would eventually need updating. I guess that's how I became so handy. Through the years we've had some great parties at this place. Most that my parents know about, and others that only my little brother and sister and a few others remember. I hope one day that I can afford a place like this one. Most likely it won't be on Long Island 'cause it's just too damn expensive up here. But I would really love to be able to host/entertain guests like my parents have done over the years.
I love my parents house..........
Mr. Pu

2005-08-12T10:45:00.000-07:00

Well it's Friday and I'm planning on enjoying myself this weekend. This may be one of the last weekends I get to truly get crazy before the baby comes. Tonight I'm tailgating at my brother's lacrosse game with a bunch of friends, then maybe a few drinks at the local pub. I may even have to break out my John Travolta moves if the night gets a little out of hand. Tomorrow it's the big BBQ at my parents. It's my nephew's christening, and there are about 100 people invited over to the house. Weather's going to be a little hot, but there's beer and a pool, so I don't really care. Sunday should be relatively quiet, a little yard work, maybe some food shopping, and some holding hands with the wife.
Have a great weekend everyone.
luv,
Mr. Pu

Just perfect dear

2005-08-09T18:12:00.000-07:00

When someone says "Give me your honest opinion," is it better to lie?

Tonight I was eating a lovely dinner that my wife prepared......eggplant parm. So she asks "Give me your honest opinion?" I say "It's really good, and its got great flavor, but I would've added more cheese." The response I got was this...

"Well, there's plenty of cheese in there, but because I was writing 50 million thank you cards from the baby shower, and you seem to not give a shit about helping me, I left it in the oven too long and it got a little dried out!"

And, my night went downhill from there :(

luv,
Mr. Pu

ps - today I found out that I'm an absolutely incredible miniature-golf player

2005-08-05T06:02:00.000-07:00

Today I'm off, and I'm spending this lovely day helping my brother-in-law move out of his parents house and into an apartment in Brooklyn. Not exactly what I wanted to do on my day off, but I'm always willing to help. Tomorrow I'm going to install a bannister on the stairs leading up to the second floor. The pregnant wife is a litttle unsteady on the steps these days. so I thought it be a little safer to have one up. Then tomorrow afternoon we're off to a good old fashioned block party in the Freak's hometown. Should be great weather, so that ought to be fun. Sunday is the big day, my wife's baby shower. I'm in charge of getting her there at 1:05pm, and not a minute earlier. After the shower, hopefully some people will help us lug all the baby shit back to my house and we'll cap off the weekend with a little BBQ in the backyard.
AHve a great one everybody,
luv,
Mr Pu

If I make a mistake...

2005-08-03T19:24:00.000-07:00

I have no problem saying that "I'm sorry." It's very easy for me to apologize, and to admit when I'm wrong. I'm not perfect, I know that, and I'm very willing to accept responsibility for things when I'm at fault.
The reason why I mention this is because "the Captain" does not follow this philosophy. He does not admit to any wrong doing. In fact any mistake he makes is passed down, blamed or handed-off to someone else. Apparently, the captain can do no wrong, and in the very rare instances that he has made a mistake, it's somehow, miraculously, some one else's fault. Just admit when you're wrong dick-head. I'm not going to yell at you. You're not going to get fired. The people will not laugh behind your back any more than they already do. Just say "you're sorry" once in a while. Stop being a shmuck who thinks you can get ahead by tricking me into believing that you're better than your fellow coworkers. You're not, everyone else is better than you. EVERYONE!!!!!
I hate you Captain.
luv,
Mr Pu

It was Halloween night.......

2005-08-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

. A man was walking home from work when he heard thump noises behind him. He turned around and saw a coffin following him. He was scared and started to run, the coffin kept right up with him. He got to his house ran through the front door, locked it and ran upstairs. The coffin busted through the front door and followed the man upstairs. The man ran for his life and then locked himself in the bathroom. The coffin burst into the bathroom. The man totally freaked out reached into the medicine cabinet and grabbed what he could find. What he grabbed was cough drops. He threw the cough drops at the coffin and the coffin stopped.

Oh Man, I love that one........

Thank you everyone

2005-08-01T17:31:00.000-07:00

I’m so thankful for the things that I have. I’m thankful for being born into an amazing family, thankful for being lucky enough to have met a wonderful woman, and thankful for the incredible friends that I have made. All these things have made me who I am. Thank you everyone.
Luv,
Mr. Pu

Oh yeah, one of these friends has recently taught me that when you shower, you should only use conditioner before you lather up the body with soap. This way, you wash the oily feel of the conditioner off your body with the soap.

I wish everyone a day like today

2005-07-30T20:52:00.000-07:00

Well……today Mr. and Mrs. Pu celebrated our 3 year anniversary. I was my usual romantic self. After waking up I whipped up some blueberry pancakes. A little breakfast in bed means a lot to some ladies. Then we showered up, and got ready for our little day. We drove out on the Island, stopped at a park on the north shore over looking the LI sound, found a spot under a tree, put out a blanket, and hung out for a little while. After about 2 hours of small talk, a little reading and some relaxing it was time for lunch. The Mrs. didn’t know that Mr. Pu had made reservations at a really nice restaurant that overlooks a beautiful pond. Service was impeccable, and we had a table practically on the water. Lunch was great, amazing weather, cool breeze, relaxing music, and then afterwards we decided to take the long way home and stopped off at some local stores and eventually made our way home. We hung out on the back deck, opened up a bottle of wine for me, a bottle of apple juice for her, lit a fire in the fire pit, and talked for hours. It was one of the best nights in a long time.
I wish everyone a day like today.
Hope your all having a great weekend.
Luv,
Mr. Pu

Please help me……

2005-07-28T18:15:00.000-07:00

I come down into my den, all ready to watch some type of sports program or maybe the History or Discovery channel and my wife steals the remote. Now she’s watching “Love’s Enduring Promise” on the Hallmark channel! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! It’s like a happier version of Little House on the Prairie. I’d rather scratch my eye balls out with toothpicks than watch this happy horseshit. So, now I’m forced to sit at my computer, watch some baseball over the internet, and press refresh on various blogs to keep my head from being bombarded with the terrible sounds of this sappy show she’s watching. So if anyone’s out there, please pray that I can make it through this night.

I Believe

2005-07-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

that a leader leads best when people barely know he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, and even worse when they despise him. A good leader, after the task is complete, will have taught them to say, “We did it ourselves.”

question

2005-07-26T08:36:00.000-07:00

If two people work together, and they have an ongoing sexual relationship, is it wrong for one of the people to continuously tell his fellow coworkers about the frequency/details, with out the other person knowing that he’s done so?
I think it is