Tonight's Lamaz class

We’re in Lamaz class tonight when the instructor starts talking about when unborn babies are breached. For those who don’t know, this means the baby is not in the correct position to come out of the love tunnel. She goes on to describe what happens if the shoulders are in the way, the back, the wrong side of the head, and she finally concludes with describing the term “footling position.” The footling position is when the baby has one of its feet positioned outside the uterus while the other one, as well as the rest of the baby is still stuck in the womb, apparently a very rare occurance. She proceeds to show us a picture of what this will look like. Basically it’s a foot/leg starting to protrude from the vagina. She then says, in her most serious voice and a stern look on her face

“If this happens to you, you should go to the doctor as soon as possible!”

So I think to myself

“Well Fuck lady, if I wake up and find a babies leg sticking out of my wife’s panties what the fuck do you think I’m going to do!!!!! You think I’m going to wake her up and ask her if she wants breakfast!!!”

On a lighter note, we’re in class practicing our breathing, the music’s on, the lights are dimmed when I give my wife the universal sign for Blow Job, she then proceeded to give me the universal sign for “Fuck off asshole!”