I’m so nervous for my wife. I know that in the next two weeks, we’ll have a new little baby, a beautiful bundle of joy. But she’s going to have to go through a lot of pain in order to make this happen, and I don’t want to see her go through that. I’d do anything to make it even slightly less painful for her. She’s tough, and she’ll be fine when all’s said and done. But I know I’m not going to like seeing her go through this.

AAAAHHHHHHHHH

My inlaws have recently put their house up for sale. No big deal, right? Wrong.......This means they'll be looking to move closer to their only daughter. That's my wife. Damn it! They were the perfect distance away....20 minutes. They called us today and said they're looking at open houses...........................in my fuckin neighborhood. Don't get me wrong. I do not dislike my inlaws. It's just that they're always around, and always trying to influence my wife's decisions. They stopped trying to influence mine a while ago, after they realized I don't fall for their mind games. I told my wife that if they move too close, I'll be looking to get seperated, and leave. She said go ahead, you wouldn't know where to go. Get an apartment, and then a cute girl is what I told her (39 week pregnant women love comments like that).
Anyway, I'll keep you all updated as the inlaws house hunt continues.
Please lord.........don't let this happen
luv,
Mr. Pu

I don't understand..

why some people can be so mean. I was in Home Depot the other day and they have this self-check out lane where it can get a little confusing as to whether there are two seperate lines or one line. Anyway, 99% of the people pretty much just let the person who got their first, go before them, regardless of which line they happen to be on. Why the Home Depot people have never fixed this little problem is beyond me. Because it's not just in the Home Depot by my house. It's in any one I've ever been in. Anyway, the other day these two guys get into a full blown argument about who was on line first, and who should go next. "Blow it out your ass." "Fuck you, asshole" "Go ahead, hit me, see what happens to you." Just a sample of what was yelled at each other. Nothing wound up happening, and eventually the two morons went about their way. But the lovely part of this whole scene was that the main guy who started the fight, had his little boy with him. Teaching his little son all the ins and outs of how to be a complete asshole. So now, their will be one more dick head out there thanks to this fucking jerk.
Why people can't be more nice to each other is beyond me. It's really not that hard. Stop making fun of people, stop being nasty, and maybe everyone can get along a little better. Imagine how much nicer this world would be if we were all a little less mean. I'm an optimist but I doubt this will ever come true.

On a side note, a little bit of Pu history for all my loyal readers............the first time I went down on a girl; her older sister, neice and nephew walked in the front door as we scrambled to put all her clothes back on. Lucky for me, we weren't caught, lucky for her I got the job done....... ahhhhhhh the good old days

Well, things are rolling along nicely in the Pu house lately. Trying to finish up all the little projects around the house before our little bundle of joy arrives. We’re still fighting over the name of our soon to be child, but I think we’ll figure it out. The wife is much more sentimental than I am, and she’d like to have one of her parent’s names somewhere in there. I don’t really think my in-laws names are all that great and I only want the name to sound nice. Deep down, I’d let my wife win this argument, but I’ll let her sweat it out a little.
Aside from the recent name game we’re playing, she’s feeling good, and I’m getting sick. I haven’t stopped running around fixing stuff up in the house. I come home from work, and I usually do about 3 more hours of house fixing before I retire to the couch. When I wake up in the morning I feel like I need a fork lift to get me out of bed……This leads me to my question. If I’m so tired now, and I don’t even have a kid, how am I going to be able to handle it when the baby comes, or even the second or third baby down the road?? I’m actually a little nervous, and I'm not really one to get nervous about things. Usually I don't worry about anything, but this is actually starting to creep into my mind.

Well, Mrs. Pu is now 38 weeks pregnant. It could be any day now that I’m on my way to the hospital to welcome into the world my first born. There are however a few rules I told her she needs to follow in these upcoming days. For one, her water is not to break on my new bedroom carpet, or on my couch. Two - she can not go into labor on the night when we’re holding our big fantasy football live draft. Three – Labor can not begin while or during a Giants Football game. Finally, four – we have one last date planned for the two of us, a very relaxing day next weekend where we’ll pretty much just enjoy each others company, and this baby is not allowed to pop out during our final day of rest with each other.

I don’t think these rules are too harsh?

I Hate the Long Island Lizards

Because of them, Double Down Pu and the rest of his Boston Cannon team-mates will not be playing in the MLL championship game on Sunday.

Well, it's Thursday evening, and double-down Pu (my little brother) is en route to Boston. He's got practice tomorrow morning, and then he and his Boston Cannon team-mates will be playing the Long Island Lizards in the Major League Lacrosse championship semi-finals. I just got off the phone with him and he is pumped up. He sounds like he's about to rip someone's head off. He's also got a job interview tomorrow morning for a sales rep position for a company that manufacturers lacrosse equipment. Let's all wish him luck.
My parents are on their way up there for the weekend too, and if little baby Pu wasn't so close to being born, the wife and I would be right behind them.
Anyway, if he and his team win tomorrow night, they'll be playing the championship game on Sunday afternoon 1pm on ESPN2, live.
I'll keep you all updated.

Story Time.......

It was a very hot night, in the lovely city of Binghamton, NY. No ac and no breeze to cool anything off. These guys were a couple of rounds of shots into a bottle of Southern Comfort, about to head out to a local bar, when there was a knock on the door.

“You think you guys can keep it down, I’m trying to sleep” said the extremely overweight women from the apartment below. She had to be pushing 350 plus pounds.
“Calm down lady, we’re about to get out of here soon. Hey you wanna do some shots with the fellas!”
“Alright”

For those who don’t know, Binghamton used to be an up and coming town, IBM had a huge plant up there, and all was great. But then in the 80’s, IBM left town and the rest has gone to shit. Lots of townies, lots of people with a few teeth missing, and too many people doing their clothes shopping at garage sales. You get the idea.

An hour later, and a few too many shots, the fat lady was getting rowdy.
“I thought you guys were going out”
“Not any more, we got a reason to stay” said the skinny pothead
The fat lady smiled back, winked at the fellas, and proceeded to unzip the skinny mans pants. Her head in his lap, he sat back, and let the fat lady get down to business.

“You like that?” he says
“Uh huh, maybe your friend over there can fuck me at the same time.” Big momma says proudly.

So the skinny man’s friend gets behind that big rump and proceeds to get down to business. Hot night, no ac, and the most disgusting threesome on the history of the planet starts to unfold.

So while the fat lady was being hit in her face with the skinny pothead’s skinny dick, his partner was getting busy in her rear. Took him a while to find the hole which was hidden between the sweat filled layers of her ass, but eventually a full fledge porn started to unfold.

Within fifteen minutes, the show was over, both men finished up at the same time, with a little love on her face, and a lot on her big fat rump.

10 minutes later, the guys were outside, continuing their night, and on their way to the local bar.
The fat lady went back downstairs to check on her kid………………….

My parents house

Well, another weekend has come to close, and I really had a great one. Friday was a lot of fun, would've been better had I not been driving or had a conscience, but that's ok. Saturday was my god child's christening complete with full blown party at my parents, and Sunday was a little BBQ/ finish up the left-overs, again at my parents. I really love my parents house. It's an absolutely tremendous old victorian home. It was built around 1890, and believe me, it has all the character of a home that is well past its centenial birthday. It's got 6 bedrooms, 3 full baths, wrap around front/side porch, formal dining/living rooms, a library, and very large eat in kitchen, a 20 by 20 ft family room which overlooks a back yard with a swimming pool and enough deck space and lawn to host a 200 person event. Oh yeah and a 2 bedroom apartment in the basement. Anyway, it's a really old house and growing up, my father and I would fix virtually anything and everything that would eventually need updating. I guess that's how I became so handy. Through the years we've had some great parties at this place. Most that my parents know about, and others that only my little brother and sister and a few others remember. I hope one day that I can afford a place like this one. Most likely it won't be on Long Island 'cause it's just too damn expensive up here. But I would really love to be able to host/entertain guests like my parents have done over the years.
I love my parents house..........
Mr. Pu

Well it's Friday and I'm planning on enjoying myself this weekend. This may be one of the last weekends I get to truly get crazy before the baby comes. Tonight I'm tailgating at my brother's lacrosse game with a bunch of friends, then maybe a few drinks at the local pub. I may even have to break out my John Travolta moves if the night gets a little out of hand. Tomorrow it's the big BBQ at my parents. It's my nephew's christening, and there are about 100 people invited over to the house. Weather's going to be a little hot, but there's beer and a pool, so I don't really care. Sunday should be relatively quiet, a little yard work, maybe some food shopping, and some holding hands with the wife.
Have a great weekend everyone.
luv,
Mr. Pu

Just perfect dear

When someone says "Give me your honest opinion," is it better to lie?

Tonight I was eating a lovely dinner that my wife prepared......eggplant parm. So she asks "Give me your honest opinion?" I say "It's really good, and its got great flavor, but I would've added more cheese." The response I got was this...

"Well, there's plenty of cheese in there, but because I was writing 50 million thank you cards from the baby shower, and you seem to not give a shit about helping me, I left it in the oven too long and it got a little dried out!"

And, my night went downhill from there :(

luv,
Mr. Pu

ps - today I found out that I'm an absolutely incredible miniature-golf player

Today I'm off, and I'm spending this lovely day helping my brother-in-law move out of his parents house and into an apartment in Brooklyn. Not exactly what I wanted to do on my day off, but I'm always willing to help. Tomorrow I'm going to install a bannister on the stairs leading up to the second floor. The pregnant wife is a litttle unsteady on the steps these days. so I thought it be a little safer to have one up. Then tomorrow afternoon we're off to a good old fashioned block party in the Freak's hometown. Should be great weather, so that ought to be fun. Sunday is the big day, my wife's baby shower. I'm in charge of getting her there at 1:05pm, and not a minute earlier. After the shower, hopefully some people will help us lug all the baby shit back to my house and we'll cap off the weekend with a little BBQ in the backyard.
AHve a great one everybody,
luv,
Mr Pu

If I make a mistake...

I have no problem saying that "I'm sorry." It's very easy for me to apologize, and to admit when I'm wrong. I'm not perfect, I know that, and I'm very willing to accept responsibility for things when I'm at fault.
The reason why I mention this is because "the Captain" does not follow this philosophy. He does not admit to any wrong doing. In fact any mistake he makes is passed down, blamed or handed-off to someone else. Apparently, the captain can do no wrong, and in the very rare instances that he has made a mistake, it's somehow, miraculously, some one else's fault. Just admit when you're wrong dick-head. I'm not going to yell at you. You're not going to get fired. The people will not laugh behind your back any more than they already do. Just say "you're sorry" once in a while. Stop being a shmuck who thinks you can get ahead by tricking me into believing that you're better than your fellow coworkers. You're not, everyone else is better than you. EVERYONE!!!!!
I hate you Captain.
luv,
Mr Pu

It was Halloween night.......

. A man was walking home from work when he heard thump noises behind him. He turned around and saw a coffin following him. He was scared and started to run, the coffin kept right up with him. He got to his house ran through the front door, locked it and ran upstairs. The coffin busted through the front door and followed the man upstairs. The man ran for his life and then locked himself in the bathroom. The coffin burst into the bathroom. The man totally freaked out reached into the medicine cabinet and grabbed what he could find. What he grabbed was cough drops. He threw the cough drops at the coffin and the coffin stopped.

Oh Man, I love that one........

Thank you everyone

I’m so thankful for the things that I have. I’m thankful for being born into an amazing family, thankful for being lucky enough to have met a wonderful woman, and thankful for the incredible friends that I have made. All these things have made me who I am. Thank you everyone.
Luv,
Mr. Pu

Oh yeah, one of these friends has recently taught me that when you shower, you should only use conditioner before you lather up the body with soap. This way, you wash the oily feel of the conditioner off your body with the soap.