I wish everyone a day like today

Well……today Mr. and Mrs. Pu celebrated our 3 year anniversary. I was my usual romantic self. After waking up I whipped up some blueberry pancakes. A little breakfast in bed means a lot to some ladies. Then we showered up, and got ready for our little day. We drove out on the Island, stopped at a park on the north shore over looking the LI sound, found a spot under a tree, put out a blanket, and hung out for a little while. After about 2 hours of small talk, a little reading and some relaxing it was time for lunch. The Mrs. didn’t know that Mr. Pu had made reservations at a really nice restaurant that overlooks a beautiful pond. Service was impeccable, and we had a table practically on the water. Lunch was great, amazing weather, cool breeze, relaxing music, and then afterwards we decided to take the long way home and stopped off at some local stores and eventually made our way home. We hung out on the back deck, opened up a bottle of wine for me, a bottle of apple juice for her, lit a fire in the fire pit, and talked for hours. It was one of the best nights in a long time.
I wish everyone a day like today.
Hope your all having a great weekend.
Luv,
Mr. Pu

Please help me……

I come down into my den, all ready to watch some type of sports program or maybe the History or Discovery channel and my wife steals the remote. Now she’s watching “Love’s Enduring Promise” on the Hallmark channel! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! It’s like a happier version of Little House on the Prairie. I’d rather scratch my eye balls out with toothpicks than watch this happy horseshit. So, now I’m forced to sit at my computer, watch some baseball over the internet, and press refresh on various blogs to keep my head from being bombarded with the terrible sounds of this sappy show she’s watching. So if anyone’s out there, please pray that I can make it through this night.

I Believe

that a leader leads best when people barely know he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, and even worse when they despise him. A good leader, after the task is complete, will have taught them to say, “We did it ourselves.”

question

If two people work together, and they have an ongoing sexual relationship, is it wrong for one of the people to continuously tell his fellow coworkers about the frequency/details, with out the other person knowing that he’s done so?
I think it is

Marriage....

... is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

The baby's room is complete!!!!

Now, all's I need is the baby!! It looks so good. I've really out done myself. Hardwood floors, detailed molding, this kid's gonna have it all. Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good right now. I had a great weekend. Went to a 30th b-day BBq for one of my long time friends. Saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a while. Saw my friends sister breast feeding her baby right out in the open (seriously, I know its natural, but you don't see me dropping my pants and taking a shit in the middle of the lawn?). We were watching my parents dogs Sat night so we threw a little impromptu pool party at their crib. Brought back many crazy memories of High School and beyond. That's about it as far as the exciting stuff goes. The rest of the weekend I was working in juniors room, painting and finishing up some odds and ends.

Hope everyone had a great weekend,
luv,
Mr. Pu

There's a sad sort of clanging
From the clock in the hall
And the bells in the steeple too,
And up in the nurs'ry an absurd little bird
Is popping out to say "coocoo".

Regretfully they tell us,
But firmly they compel us
To say goodby to you.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehn, good night,
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehn,
adieu, Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.

So long, farewell, Au'voir, auf wiedersehn,
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehn, goodbye,
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye,
Good bye

I'm glad to go,
I cannot tell a lie.
I flit, I float,
I fleetly flee, I fly.

The sun has gone to bed and so must I
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye!

I'm off Tomorrow

Hey all,
Well, tomorrow I'm off. It's one of the wonderful things that my employer provides, every other Friday, we're off. Actually, it's the only wonderful thing that my employer provides. Anyway, I'm going to the Beach!!! Me and the wife (she's a teacher, so she's off what seems like every other day of the year) are going to Jones Beach. We're packing some fruit, a little lunch, lots of drinks, and some sun tan lotion. I'm half Italian, and half Irish, but I can get very dark if I don't put at least spf 45 on. I'm not kidding either. My Mom's got pictures of me as a kid where you see what looks like an oreo cookie, but it's really my naked ass mooning the camera. Dark top, dark bottom sandwiched around the whitest ass you've ever seen.

After that we're off to gobble up some seafood at a local crab shack down by the water. Should be a fun day. Hope the weather's good.
Have a fun Friday everybody
luv,
mr. Pu

Good Deed of the Day

I was shopping in King Kullen for some Hamburger buns for tonight’s dinner when I spotted a young girl in the aisle with me. She must’ve been about 16, maybe 17 years old. I’m not sure how to describe it, but she had a terrible skin condition all over her body. She had on shorts, and a tank top, and this skin condition was from head to toe. Anyway, she had a very depressed, very sad look on her face, the kind of look that would torture any caring person, and I thought I should cheer her up. So, I picked up two types of hamburger buns and walked over to her. “Hey, which of these buns are better,” I asked. She looked behind her, turned back to me and said “me?”

“Yeah, you. Which taste better?”

“Those.” She said pointing to the seeded buns.

“Thanks, I’m glad you were here to help me out, see ya around”

“bye” she said with a smile from ear to ear, totally forgetting about anything that was bothering her.

Now, those who know me, know that I’m no Brad Pitt, but every once in a while it’s nice to make someone feel not only important but good about themselves as well.
Luv,
Mr. Pu

Captain Update

Well, the Captian is at it again. I just don't understand why someone refuses to follow directions. It's like he purposely tries to piss people off. If I told the captain that the quickest way from New York to Florida was to get on a plane and fly there, he'd buy a train ticket and ride amtrack all the way down just to see if there was a chance that the train would beat the plane. That's how he is. A stubborn ass, who's very quick to blame someone else for his mistake.

"Hey Captain, why'd you write on the back of that important piece of paper when you know we're not supposed to do that?"

"Well, you see, someone gave the paper to me and told me it wasn't an important piece of paper, so I flipped it over and started writing on it, so it's really their fault."

"Oh, I see, so I guess I should go yell at that person for telling you that this piece of paper is not important."

"They might not listen to you"

"You're probably right captain, you're probably right"

7 weeks to go

Well, September 5th is almost here, Labor Day for some, but for me, that’s the due date of our first child. It’s really starting to hit home lately. So many kids have been born the last few weeks. It’s amazing. Six weeks ago I become an Uncle; the maid of honor of our wedding just had a kid last week, two of my wife’s friends had kids this year, one of my best friends is due two weeks after us, and finally the Freak just became an Aunt. It’s like all anyone did during the winter was knock up their wives.
Well, I hope I can enjoy these last few weeks of peace and quiet as well as sleep. From what people tell me, newborns need a little bit of attention.
luv
Papa Pu

Tonight on TV

Hey all, tonight on ESPN2 (35 on Long Island) at 6 pm eastern, my brother will be playing in the MLL All Star game out in Denver. He's playing on the team called "Young Guns." Not sure what number he'll be wearing, but he's normally number 2.

If you interested in watching some lacrosse, and you're not doing anything, check it out. It can be pretty exciting, expecially when you're rooting for someone to do well.

luv,
Master Pu

Two topics tonight

First – Me and the wife had the “this is what I hate about you conversation” tonight. It was cool; we’re not fighting or anything, just bullshitting outside with a few drinks. Apparently this is what my wife dislikes about me;

I sweat too much
I play the radio too loud in the morning
I allow my parents dogs into the pool and she has to swim in dog hair
When I kiss her goodnight, I’m always rushing her into bed so I can go back downstairs doing whatever it was that I was doing.
I hate her parents dog Mozart.
I don’t dress nice
I leave the porch light on too much
And finally; I drink too much.

When she was finished with her little tirade, she decided to put the citronella candle out on our deck by pouring her glass of water onto it, spraying hot blue wax allover the deck I just re-finished. I then told her that I hate that you just did that!

Anyway, Second Topic –
Past relationships are nothing to be ashamed of. They are what shape the people we are today. Everyone has had that certain relationship that they wish they could erase; wanting to almost ignore the time they spent with that special someone. Don’t be ashamed people, and don’t feel like your time was wasted. I’m not saying everything happens for a reason, but having a relationship in the past which didn’t work out or just plain sucked and was a waste of time is what will make that good relationship last. We need to date screwed up people every now and then. We need to experience something that we don’t want in order to realize what it is that we’re all searching for out there. I’ve certainly had a few, and I’m sure some of you have had some as well. So here’s to all the fucked up relationships we’ve all had, if it weren’t for them, we all might make the same mistake again.

Luv,
Master Pu

A little re-wind

Since the sugar V re-vamped his site over there, he lost a comment of mine as soon as I posted it which I would really like the viewing public to enjoy. This is directed at my good friend "Freak"

Freak has touched a cock or two….do da do da
She enjoys going down on you……Oh the do da day

Licks up every drop
Luvs the money shot

Freak has touched a cock or two….Oh the do da day

Question for you ladies

Hey all, tonight, in lamaz, we saw the video. You know what I'm talking about. It's the video that shows it all. Every thing you've ever wanted to know about child birth. The idiots guide to the female anatomy. Anyway, I was quite interested in viewing this because the doc has banned my penis from any physical interaction with my wife, and I thought this might be a good chance to see some free vagina.

Well, after seeing the video, I was a little puzzled. You see, every women that was in the final stages of labor (and the video focused on four women) was naked. Head to toe, naked. Pushing, breathing, arms flailing through the air, naked.

So my question is, is it common for a woman to be butt naked, while giving birth.

Damn that Mozart!!

A few months ago I told my wife that the spoiled rat that is my in-laws shit-zu, is never allowed in our bedroom again. This was stemming from an early morning, come out of the shower and step in some warm shit incident!!! Well, we’re dog-sitting for the next two weeks, and this little bastard has struck again! I came home from yet another hard day at the office, go into my bedroom, undress, and I noticed that there was no comforter on my nice big king sized bed.

“Hey sweetie” I yelled
“Yeah”
“Where’s the comforter, you doing laundry?”
“I had to wash it”
“Why, we just bought it?”
“Well, Mozart and me were cuddling in bed this morning and he threw up all over the comforter, but don’t worry it wasn’t really all over, only on your side!”

“Little fucker!!!”

I don’t know where she’s hiding him right now, but I know he's snickering even as I write this, and if I find him I’m punting him off my back deck!!

Ask Away...

Hey folks, well it's Tuesday night and I'm drunk. Very Drunk. The wife is a sleep, and I'm heavy into the second bottle of merlot. I'm celebrating. Celebrating the fact that the babies room floor is finally finished, and that I'm a very fortunate person and I have a lot to be thankful for.
Anyway,I decided that since I'm drunk, very drunk, I'll be answering any questions that any fellow bloggers have about me. Kind of like cmac's blogger appreciation day, but mine will be better 'cause I'm fucked up.

So, ask away people, anything you ever wanted to know about me. I'll continue it into the morning, but it might not be that great 'cause I'll be hungover.

Did you know that I can juggle. Seriously, I can juggle many things. little balls, big balls, fruit, vegetables, I've even juggled hammers.

Looks can be deceiving

Freak sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships.
"Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the outside?" Freak asked.
"The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet" counseled the therapist.
So Freak went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her complex for an evening of sexual abandon.
When the man woke up the next morning, Freak had already gone to work, but by the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read, "With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit you."

Any ideas?

Hey all, in about three weeks it'll be Mr. and Mrs. Pu's three year anniversary. Any ideas for what I should do for her? Keep in mind that she'll be eight months pregnant at the time.

In other news, the in-laws are leaving for a two week vacation. That means the wife and I have to dog-sit their spoiled, crappy, stuck-up, snob of a dog, Mozart. This little dog is a Shitzu, and if he could talk he'd tell me to "fuck off." He hates me, and I hate him right back. I'm into the big athletic dogs, you know Golden retrievers, siberian huskies, Labs. Those are the dogs I grew up with. I can't stand Mozart. He's not my type

Weekend Re-cap

Around 10 o’clock tonight I sat in front of my little fire pit in my back yard and finally had a chance to relax. I like my little fire pit. I really enjoy sitting by a fire, looking up at the stars, listening to the sounds of the suburbs, and just thinking. I thought about all the shopping the wife and I did this weekend for the baby, and how much I hate shopping, but I actually had a great time doing it this time. I thought about the hardwood floor that took me all Sunday to install in the baby’s room, and then I thought that this child will probably never appreciate that nice hardwood floor that I just installed.

I thought about finally being able to meet the sugar V’s “Nebraska Girl.” “You’ve done well sugar, congrats.”

I thought about my good friend Tom, he just turned 30 July 8th; he’s the guy I lived with during our crazy years in Long Beach. “Happy B-Day Tom”

I thought about CMac’s party and how much fun I had there. “Thanks for the invite old-timer; can you imagine the beer pong tournament we could’ve had if none of us had to drive home? Can’t wait for the next bash.”

I thought about my snowboard, and how it needs to be waxed, like my balls apparently.

I thought about how the Freak needed a victory in the worst way for her big beer pong tournament. She picked me as her partner, little ‘ol Mr Pu, who hasn't picked up a ping pong ball since my bachelor party. But we kicked the competition’s ass. Congrats Freak, and oh yeah, thanks for screaming in my face at the party. I really enjoyed that, and tell Marie thanks for bringing her ass.

Overall, it was a great weekend. I accomplished a lot, and managed to keep the peace on the home front thanks to some timely advice from the Freak.
Good bye

Upcoming Movie

Went to the movies today and while I was sitting through 20 minutes of previews one of them happened to catch my eye.

"The 40 Year Old Virgin"

This is a movie coming out in the fall and I guess I don't have to describe what it's about do I?

Does any blogger out there understand why I'm writing this???

Tonight's Lamaz class

We’re in Lamaz class tonight when the instructor starts talking about when unborn babies are breached. For those who don’t know, this means the baby is not in the correct position to come out of the love tunnel. She goes on to describe what happens if the shoulders are in the way, the back, the wrong side of the head, and she finally concludes with describing the term “footling position.” The footling position is when the baby has one of its feet positioned outside the uterus while the other one, as well as the rest of the baby is still stuck in the womb, apparently a very rare occurance. She proceeds to show us a picture of what this will look like. Basically it’s a foot/leg starting to protrude from the vagina. She then says, in her most serious voice and a stern look on her face

“If this happens to you, you should go to the doctor as soon as possible!”

So I think to myself

“Well Fuck lady, if I wake up and find a babies leg sticking out of my wife’s panties what the fuck do you think I’m going to do!!!!! You think I’m going to wake her up and ask her if she wants breakfast!!!”

On a lighter note, we’re in class practicing our breathing, the music’s on, the lights are dimmed when I give my wife the universal sign for Blow Job, she then proceeded to give me the universal sign for “Fuck off asshole!”

I watched the "Brothers McMullen" tonight. For those who haven't seen it, great movie. After that I saw "She's the One" another classic by Ed Burns. Low budget films, but they're both written so well.

Commute

It’s called rain fuckers, actually, mist! No need to step on the brakes every 5 seconds. A 10 mile ride shouldn’t take 30 fuckin minutes!

Should I be Worried?

As another day slowly comes to a close, I sit in front of the computer wasting more time, but as I tried to figure out some witty little topic to type about something scary suddenly crossed my mind. My life has become somewhat of a routine. I kind of go through the same motions day in and day out, never really straying too far from the norm. I’m not really complaining. I am very fortunate for what I have, and very grateful for what’s to come. But I think I need to change up my lifestyle a little bit. I need to add some excitement to my wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, do it all over again remix. I started working out again, and it’s livened me up a bit. But I don’t think I’m as fun as I used to be. I think I’ve grown up too fast. Maybe I need to develop some hobbies, take some anti-depressants, or anything to get my heartbeat above 50. Maybe this is a mild form of a mid-life crisis? I really don’t think so, but who knows. All I know is that days keep on getting crossed off my calendar at a far faster pace than I like them to.
Thanks for listening

And God created women

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.
He said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever needed."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg."

Adam said "What can I get for just a rib?"

....The rest is history

???

So, I'm at the beach sitting up, watching the people go by, when all of a sudden these two girls come up to Mr. Pu.
"Hey, can we sit with you?"
"Sure ladies" I say.
"Can I take a picture with you" says one of them.
"I'm no celebrity, but go right ahead, why would you want a picture with me?" I say
"I want to make my husband jealous!"
"OK, but he better not be close by because I'm all 'bout relaxing today girls."
"You're the best"
"You said it beautiful."

Hope you're all having a nice weekend!

Another boring Friday

I want to go on a vacation so bad. It’s not that I work so hard and deserve one, anyone who knows this office knows that’s certainly not the case. But, I’m having a kid soon and I want to get one last kid-less vacation out of the way. My wife and I had this similar thought last year, and we really went vacation crazy. We knew that kids were going to start coming soon so we went to Vegas, Hawaii, Dominican Republic, we had a great time. But now, I have to save my vacation days for when the little dude comes out, and I really want to go somewhere. I would love to strap on a back-pack, grab the wife and walk around Europe for about three weeks. But I guess that’s out of the question. Hey, can I take a 1 year old back-packing through Europe? I guess that’s the only way I’ll be able to take that trip.
Anyway, I guess there’s always camping, my kids are definitely going to love camping. I did it all the time as a kid. We always spent part of our summer vacations camping all up and down the east coast. It was a lot of fun. So, that’s something I want my family to do. Fishing, canoeing, river rafting, sleeping in tents, making fires and roasting marshmallows. Sounds like fun, right?
I guess I’m babbling. Have a safe 4th of July weekend everyone. But before I go, I’d like to give a special shout-out to the Freaky Virgin, who not only is going sky-diving tomorrow, she’s got this whole fun filled Birthday weekend planned. Tonight’s Bud Light’s in honor of her, have a great time Freak, just try to sober up enough for work on Tuesday.